Rolf Mohr mendefinisikan education as an influence on individuals for the purpose of conformance with the standard values, norms and attitudes that apply to the standardization of social and enculturation for each individual to feel comfortable in the social environment. On the other hand, education also aims to develop individuals. That is, through education of each individual to discover and develop the potential and talent of each ( http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erziehung ). In short, education is to form the child to be strong in the face of life, help them find their place in society and responsible lives. This becomes a serious challenge for both parents. On the one hand, parents should be able to feeding their families for survival. That is, the demands and rules in the workplace must be obeyed. On the other hand, they also have to make extraordinary efforts in equipping their children with a variety of social competence and education for the children were later able to independently and responsibly on his life.
Dad and Mom have the absolute power to his son. The power of parents can significantly positive also negative. Significantly positive if its parents is the protection of children. For example, when the child ran toward a crowded street, a mother immediately took her son. Creating a safe feeling, love, care for and protect can affect the psychological development of children. Children will show an attitude that same for others friends or other people. Instead, parents can also power a negative meaning when children are neglected or physically abused. Not feeling safe, not needed and not considered to cause negative impact on psychological development of children. Children can grow up to be brutal and uncaring towards others.
Many factors affect how to educate children, such as family background, education, economic level, neighborhood and association, and so forth. Similarly, education in Germany. In Germany until the 1960s, the values of discipline, the fulfillment of the obligation and obedience is the central point of education in the family. But after that, education in the family experience shift values and emancipation. Education in the family put forward the autonomy (self-reliance and the ability to determine their own decisions), the ability of self, a willingness to accept criticism and so forth. However, this value shift is not a fixed price that must be adhered to fully, because the education of children is closely related to direct the child to become a man who has common sense. A blend of various styles of educating with the main runway at educating a democratic style is the best way of educating children.
A. Model Education in Germany
There are four models applied to educate the family in Germany, namely (1) anti-authoritarian, (2) authoritarian, (3) laissez faire , And (4) democratic.
(1) Anti-Authoritarian
Educating with anti-authoritarian way is to educate children in a way not to impose the will of parents to their children and lead to the personal development of each individual. Anti-authoritarian education method is a method of education as opposed to authoritarian methods. This method is widely applied in Germany began in the 1960s. With anti-authoritarian educational methods, children have the opportunity to develop optimally so that the personality and confidence, as well as creativity and social skills grow freely. But unfortunately, this kind of education other interpreted by parents. They educate children by giving the widest freedom to children without limit thus forming "selfish generation", and ultimately anti-authoritarian methods of educating the harsh criticism.
In Germany today is no longer used the term anti-authoritarian, children are now educated in a democratic manner. Schools, children's education institutions, sports clubs and youth projects to apply a liberal education of children. Human beings should become independent, creative and able to socialize and not be a slave society. According to statistics, children who are educated are not in a state of depressed people will become successful and independent, while the children are educated in authoritarian will be a quiet and not independent.
(2) Authoritarian parenting
characteristics using the model authoritarian is all determined by the parent or educator. How to think and behave in accordance with child directed adult way of thinking, so often thrown orders and rules to their students. Parents ignore children's needs and desires and are usually parents who determine what should be done by children. Children are educated by the authoritarian model often gets censure and reprimand from their parents or educators. This educational model applied in Germany in the 30s to 60s.
authoritarian parents demand too much from children, but provide less emotional support. The impact of authoritarian educational model of creativity and spontaneity of children stunted, because the parents who decide most of the activity children and less attention to children's interests. This resulted in children tend to be aggressive towards children who are weaker. If the child wants and needs are not addressed, this aggressive attitude can mean a way that indicated the child to attract attention. How to train like this encourage children to become dependent on others. In addition, they also often suffer from feelings of inferiority. The characteristics educate authoritarian manner are:
· educators determine the child's activity
· educators condemn and reprove children who behave and not behave as expected by educators
· educators being kind to children, but not close
Your child does not know what will occur
· educators apply threats and intimidation
· educator always gave the order.
(3) Laissez Faire
Unlike the authoritarian way, parents who educate children using Laissez Faire be passive against children. Parents rarely provide guidance so that children are basically left to grow alone. Parents almost never demanded anything from children and rarely pay attention to opinions that are contrary to her child. In educating, parents are only doing what is important and educate a minimum, in other words, parents ignore the child.
Children who grow through laissez-faire way will experience major problems when they hit adolescence and into adulthood. They relationship difficulties and unable to communicate with the person's age because they never learn to foster a positive emotional connection. A confident attitude is also not formed. Because they do not know when teenagers near and distant relations, a result they are not able to promote good communication. At school, when viewed from the achievements and liabilities, they are not able to adjust. In childhood they learn very little about the limits, while in school and in other public places there are rules and regulations are clear.
Children who are educated in this way has a strong tendency to be a naughty boy and was involved with drug use. The educational characteristics of laissez-faire :
· educators do not immerse yourself in the group
· educators being friendly but not pro
· educators to be passive and act as an outsider
· educators restrict ourselves to the material and light duty
· educators offer assistance when he should have absolute provide assistance.
(4) Democratic
How to educate democratic provide many opportunities for children to be able to grow as much as possible and do things, because all important decisions jointly discussed between parents and children. This encourages the formation of the attitude of confidence and independence. Briefing
positive as stock acquired orientation of children, advice from parents that is based on the needs and interests of children is a mix of authoritarianism and freedom of how to educate.
Emotionally, parents provide warmth, compassion, understanding, and so on so that children have a safe place and can trust their parents. Feeling safe as it grows within the child, so he can be warm to others. The positive impact of education in a democratic example, the ability to use language styles are varied and complex because the parents are always communicating and interacting with children. In addition, the children showed great confidence, stable emotions and wise, and has a learning ethos and the ethos of achievement. In social life, children are able to learn many competencies required for the provision of life, such as respect and understand others, ability to cooperate with others and able to be critical.
The trait model of democratic education is
educators and students understand each other as members of a group of educators
private talks with the children of group work
run without command
previous educator provides a description of the tasks and objectives
decision
discussed together in a group of educators to support and give spirit children
division of tasks based on a sense of responsibility towards the group
censure and reprimand given objectively
In the face of a problem given a few alternative solutions to problems educate.
Every parent has a different style of education because everyone has a view of the different norms and values. Because of differing views, then apply the views of parents on their children. For example, there are parents who raise children with a habit to express all the thoughts and opinions, while other parents to educate children in a way to allow children to speak and issue opinions when asked. The results showed that children are able to grow and develop optimally if he was educated by parents who apply the democratic model.
According to the Ministry of Family, Parents, Women and Youth, Education in Germany aims to instill the values: honesty, independence, reliable, ready to help others, being Courtesy, responsible, friendly, courteous, industrious, tolerant, aware of the duties and obligations, discipline, to be fair, able to socialize, be able to uphold the truth, and capable of being critical (Bundesministerium für Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend, Wertorientierte Erziehung in Deutschland, Ausgabe Nr. 7).
Prof. Dr. Jürgen Korner, a professor of social pedagogy at the Freie University in Berlin as well as chairman of the German Society Psychoanalysis propose some interesting thoughts to answer the problem: (1) how to change the force in the education of a child's free choice and not because children have to adjust?, ( 2) how how to educate children in order to become a "not dependent" on others?, (3) how to force a person "voluntarily doing something" that actually he did not like? Some thought that he was accusing me, among others:
1) Education can be realized in the form of discussion between parents and children.
2) Children have the right to "control" parents (for children remain in the "position" as a child).
3) The principle of education who expect children are able to manage themselves will fail.
4) Introduction of the values can not be delivered through the "sermon", but only by experience. Assessment of the moral argument is not delivered through but obtained through identification with the models.
5) If the child deal with situations that limit or block it, then it will grow (in a safe environment) especially with the phrase "No" as a sign of rejection. In addition, a child now would be a failure, this is where he will learn to be responsible for themselves.
Thus, indirectly children educated through the direct experiences of conflict, are tolerant in accepting failure and learn to cope with failures or obstacles. Learning to cope with failures or obstacles is not merely the duty of parents, but also the task of education practitioners who deal with children and youth ( www.vfk.de/agfj/veranstaltungen/ tagungsbericht).
B. How German families to educate children?
There are no special schools, courses, degree or apprenticeship program that provides specific information about how to educate children. If parents have devoted affection, confidence and provide role models in everyday life in the family to the children, this is the right direction already taken by parents in educating children. Nevertheless, the German government has enacted laws protecting children and teenagers to support family education. This law regulates all aspects related to the education of children and adolescents, so that education can be implemented to the fullest.
Following this, the succession will be presented several examples of government support for education of children and adolescents and the example of education in the family.
(1) What is and at what age:
Your child under age 16 should visit diskothek and beer shop if accompanied by an adult companion and from the age of 16 years are allowed to visit diskothek to 24.00. Exception: for example where the youth club / youth club held a show at night (youth protection Act, § 3 and § 5).
Your child until the age of 6 years are allowed to watch at the cinema only if accompanied by an adult. Other rules: watch no later than at 20.00 (for children up to age 14 years), until 22:00 (for children up to age 16 years), to 24.00 (teenagers from the age of 16 years) (youth protection Act § 6)
Your child until the age of 7 years has not been able to make a sale and purchase and return of goods that have been purchased can only be done by parents . Children from the age of 7 years to buy (almost all types of goods) who wants to use his pocket money. Purchases in large quantities is allowed with the approval of parents.
· Opening a bank account in the name of its own for children under the age of 18 can take place if there is a parent signature. But making money can only be done if such person has reached adulthood.
· Teenagers from the age of 16 years had to be a member of the party.
Your child until the age of 16 years are not permitted to smoke in public places. (Youth protection Act § 9). Children from the age of 16 years are allowed to buy and drink beer, wine and champagne. New from the age of 18 years are allowed to buy and drink the brandy. (Youth protection Act § 4)
(2) Rules player interaction for children up to age 5 years: Your child should
greet guests who come as she looked toward her
• In Stores ought child may only hold and retrieve certain items
· Chewing gum should not be attached or removed in any place, but dumped in a bin
· express "thank you", "return love" and "Sorry" in every situation that requires the utterance was delivered
· prohibited to eat while running, it is forbidden to touch the food and then put back, it is forbidden to talk for a mouth full of food, use a serviette to wipe the mouth and should not be playing cutlery
· Not allowed said oath or swear
· Eating can be started when food was served on top of all the plates of family members and should not be demanding the most delicious food and the portion of the most
· Cover mouth with hand when yawning, coughing or sneezing
· Not all wishes can be met and all items that have been borrowed must be returned.
Children should listen to what was said parents or teachers and should not be cut off talks.
(3) Rules player interaction for children aged above 13 years:
If offered food, should say "no thanks" or "yes, please"
not good to say "what?" Or "huh?", Say " please repeat? "
should care about other people's feelings and not hurt his feelings by saying what it is
Children should not take anything with the hands beyond the glass or bowl, and utensils that have been used was not placed on the tablecloth
Indicates Timely attention to others, for example to older people offering a place sitting or holding the door to remain open for younger children
risen to say hello
not cut other people's words
Wearing appropriate clothing for particular events
Should not smoked for other people eat, or ask permission
On public transport is not spend seating for two people, and do not put feet on the seat
Use right hand to greet people, not with his left hand.
(4) Examples of family education of children in Germany:
tolerance from an early age (must not interfere with anyone else) and respect for others
Since the age of two years to learn to eat itself
Before bed read stories
Learning urination and large Saying hello
restroom if there are guests
Removing the opinion for all these things should not be lied
should not be eating too much candy
Spruce up your own room
Want to admit defeat (especially in games)
Discipline of time (on time) and appreciate the time Self
Doing something must be resolved one by one (eg, eating at the dinner table should not be while reading a book or watching TV or doing homework)
Bedtime was determined, for example at 8 pm. The children have been in bed at that hour, whether they like it or not. Except for the weekend. Usually the room lights turned off, or just dim. Babies should not be worn when going to sleep because it will be bad habits. Having replaced nightgowns, baby directly laid on his bed and were given milk, and then left alone while crying. But usually after 3-5 minutes the baby will calm down. Anak2 also familiarized himself to sleep early.
Children are taught to say 'Bitte' if you ask something, say "Danke" if given something, or "Entschuldigung" if you make a mistake.
Children are not allowed to watch TV / DVD too often, a maximum of 2 hours a day.
Children must often be invited to walk and play outside (especially when the weather is good, and especially when the summer), reading or listening to music.
When children are naughty, normally they should be silent in the room until they come back, brav '.
Parents should not hit children, unless the child is not able to be directed by words, blow dear / educate new will be done. Parents give more priority to give sense to the children.
Parents always try to spend plenty of time for their children. Weekends are family days. Are they a lot of work or not, they always try to do activities with family members.
Estuary of education in the family is the formation of discipline. Discipline is the foundation of education. By getting children to do all regulations adopted by parents from wake to sleep again, children accustomed to being disciplined. To enforce discipline, there is a sanction imposed on any violation, and the kids know the consequences of any violation. This seems the main thing that distinguishes the education system in Indonesia and Germany. Education in the family is the basis for the formation of attitudes of children who need attention, so that later the child can be responsible for themselves, their environment and capable of self.
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